Thursday, September 24, 2009

Is it in poor taste to ask for money?

This question is bound to come up and well it should. For some reason, the gift of money at weddings have been deemed crass but what most don't know is that the gift of money is very common at Asian, Jewish, Middle Eastern, and other cultural weddings. They're usually presented in a little envelope and dropped in a box at the sign-in table or given when the couple visits the tables to thank everyone for coming.

But I want to reference a THE source in etiquette - Emily Post at Post wrote back in May 23, 2001 that it is OK to ask for money, in fact of the 66,000 couples surveyed, 42% wanted to know how to ask for money. From Emily Post:
According to Post, it’s okay to ask for money as a wedding gift, however, it is extremely important to do so politely. Here are some of Post’s suggestions:
  • If money is the gift you would most appreciate, get the word out to family and close friends.
  • If you are asked point blank what you would like, you might say, “Whatever you want to give us is wonderful, the choice is yours, but money is at the top of our wish list.”
  • It’s also a good idea to state the intended purpose. Perhaps you are saving for a down payment on a house or your honeymoon. Guests will then know how their gift may be used.
Indeed, monetary gifting is a preferred bridal gift among couples and guests alike. Post points out that wedding guests, too, often ask if money is an acceptable gift. In a word, Post replies: absolutely.
- keaton

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